May 16, 2007

  • I seek for validation. For the recognition of my existence.

    I am here. I live. I exist.

    Its such a pathetic cause, but somehow, I just want to be wanted. Not by all, one would be alright.

    Who will validate my existence? Who will tell me that I live? Who will want me?

    I am nobody special. Just ordinary, even below ordinary.

    I have a terrible case of inferiority complex, which sometimes aggravate to arrogance and a feeling of superiority. Because of this I have anger - anger for the self, and anger with the world.

    I hate the fact that people stick with me because they pity me, but sadly without them, I have no one.

    Perhaps I am destined to be alone.

    I have the worst case of low self-esteem, and as much as I try to lift myself, I can't. Such a useless effort. Its just is. That is my role. That is my part in this eternal drama.

    Self-respect, I have none, the reason why I can't stop myself from doing all these self-destructive behavior. The reason why I beg for despair.

    Such a sad existence.

    So now, I crawl to my little corner and curl up. Its time to disappear.

    I live. I exist. I am here...

    But you can't see me.

Comments (7)

  • been there, done that. i also had experienced that. but having that experience, it taught self-appreciation and self-love. who better to love yourself than you, diba? i know, it's too cliche but it really is true. all of the things that you've written, nasabi ko na yan.

    lamo mo, you need to love yourself first for others to see you... not looking, but seeing.

    sige lang, you'll find your inner bliss sonner than you think.

  • charot! invinsible man ra oi.

  • i sooooo know the feeling, sir - on the upside - you are a far better looking man than i...

  • Well thank you very much.  I like your new layout.

  • you're a good writer.

    ~ lea

  • wow thats really deep. ur an amazing writer.

    btw, thanx for commenting on my page! yah i got my teeth bleach whittened with a heating lamp and everything and even before that, my teeth were sooooooo sensitive. the treatment hurt soooo bad ughh. but it still turned out great. yah and when i got my teeth shaped the other day, my dad asked the dentist to put A LOT of novicane into my mouth so that i wouldnt be able to feel a thing. it worked, i seriously couldn't feel when he was poking me with all these drills and stuff it was great. the only thing is that now, almost 2 days later, i still have a sore feeling in my upper gum area. LOL! oh well. with beauty comes pain, right? :)

    xoxo, Lia

  • First off, thank you so much for the comment you made on my blog. Your comment gave me something to think about. And it made me smile knowing my life is not a total waste.

    I should be the last person commenting on your entry, since I can somehow relate to the anguish you must be feeling right now. But all I know is, even amidst all the dilemma I got myself into, I still have even the tiniest bit of self-respect and –love left to keep the fight going. I know I cannot expect other people to see my worth, if I cannot see that myself.

    I am sure you have a lot to offer to people, especially to the special one. You just gotta see the beauty that is inside you and work on it. Do not let your low self-esteem blind you from the fact that you are a beautiful person with a lot of potential. I saw that much with the helpful comment you left.

    cheers!

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