October 16, 2012

• Losing Innocence: Victim of sexual abuse speaks, hopes for others to break silence (1st of 2 parts)

  News

  

  CEBU, Philippines - “I was 9 ½ years old when it first happened,” Christina (not her real name) says.

  “Do you know what cunnilingus means, kuya*?” she asks me, unsure if I was aware what she meant.

  “Yes,” I told her, “I’m in the medical field.”

  That’s how Christina started her story – that time when she lost her innocence.

  According to Sr. Nida Viovicente, OSR, founder and director of Antonia de Oviedo Center, out of 58 female victims of child molestation, 51 are incest rape, meaning the perpetrator is a close relative of the victim, either the father, a brother, an uncle, or a cousin.

  “So, how did you feel?” I asked Christina.

  “I was confused. I was not angry, just confused, unable to understand what happened,” she recalls. “I could not say that what he did was his way of showing affection because from what I observed with my cousins and my aunts and uncles then, that was not how they showed love to each other.”

  When she started having her period, her father reportedly started going further and had actual sex with her.

  “I just tolerated it kuya because from what I learned on TV, children who report cases of sexual abuse always end up with a broken family,” Christina says, adding, “I don’t want to be the cause of any rift in the family.”

  It was only during her college years when she tried to find every excuse not to be alone with her father or to stay out of the house as often as she could just so he would not have any opportunity to molest her, she says.

  “Perhaps that was the reason, kuya, why recently his temper has not been good,” she says.

  When her father struck her with a monobloc chair, she decided that she had suffered enough. She first turned to her friends for help before deciding to confide to relatives on her mother’s side who, in turn, brought her to one of the safe houses of the Antonia de Oviedo Center.

  “She was a special case,” Sr. Nida says, explaining that the center primarily accepts minors, but the case of Christina was considered an emergency case, considering the threat that the situation posed on her life and the level of influence of her perpetrator.

  A process

  “Sex abuse is a process,” Sr. Nida explains.

  At first, the perpetrator would try to get the trust and confidence of the victim through acts of kindness and by showing and giving favors to the victim. This is called the grooming stage.

  “Once the trust of the victim has been gained, that’s when the perpetrator would start to engage in sexual intercourse,” she says.

  The process is premeditated to the point that at times, the perpetrator would create a scenario wherein only he and the victim would be in the house, like sending other companions in the house on an errand.

  After the abuse, the perpetrator would then threaten the victim or use force in order to discourage the victim from reporting the incident.

  “They would usually say, ‘If you would tell somebody about this I will kill your mother,’ or ‘You are the one who wanted this, you asked for this’,” says Sr. Nida.

  Sometimes, the grooming stage also plays on the conscience of the victim, believing that the act is but a form of showing love and affection.

  “Indebtedness is an instinct in children,” said Sr. Nida, a reason why children easily fall victim to sexual abuse.

  For Christina, however, physical threat or treats were not a deciding factor in keeping her troubles to herself.

  “Maybe, kuya, I am just a very submissive person. There were times when I would think that if only I was strong enough to fight back, maybe this would not have happened to me,” she says.

  Sex, Love and troubled family

  Another reason that would make children vulnerable to child molestation is the notion spread by media that sex is equated to love.

  “When the perpetrator would tell the child that, she would easily believe him even if it is not true primarily because of lack of education,” says Sr. Nida.

  “The child would believe the perpetrator because the father is a trusted person,” she says. “Tatay who is a loving person, tatay who is a provider, tatay who is a protector, but then tatay is an abuser.”

  Sr. Nida points out that most of the victims come from troubled families. Some have stepfathers while in others, even the mothers were abused themselves.

  “There are also instances where the mothers are battered wives, who sometimes are themselves products of broken homes,” says Sr. Nida. “The parents are not aware how to care for their children and so the cycle of abuse continues.”

  Perpetrators as victims

  Sr. Nida reveals that even perpetrators themselves are potential victims of abuse.

  “Especially for victims who have not undergone any treatment, the cycle of abuse would not usually stop and there is the potential that when he becomes an adult he will become a perpetrator,” she says.

  “But he is not aware that this is the reason for his actions, otherwise he would not do it; he would prevent himself from doing such acts so that others would not be made into victims like him,” she adds.

  Pornography, Peer pressure, and separation

  Aside from being victims of abuse themselves, there are also perpetrators who are reportedly encouraged to do the act through pornographic films.

  “They would even sometimes ask the child to watch X-Rated films with them, misleading the child into believing that what she is seeing in the film is normally done between a father and child,” she says.

  Other times, it is other people who encourage the perpetrator to do the act, and other times, the distance between spouses is a factor, as with overseas contract workers.

  In Christina’s case, her mother works in the Middle East as a nurse. Her father used to work with her mother, but when her brother started engaging in substance abuse to cope with the separation from their parents, the family decided to let the father return home considering that it is the wife who is earning more.

  “People have sexual needs,” says Sr. Nida, and apparently for Christina’s father, Christina was the most convenient outlet for him to fulfill those needs.

  Since her father returned home, he and Christina reportedly slept in one bed. This arrangement reportedly continued until Christina reached college. During that time, the abuse was frequent, almost every night, as her father had plenty of opportunity to be alone with her.

  Education

  Sr. Nida believes that reproductive health education can play a vital role in the prevention of sex abuse in children.

  “Children must know their rights, they must know what the abusive situations are and how they could avoid these,” she says, adding that children should also know that there are people whom they could go to when they feel that they are being abused.

  The Department of Justice (DOJ) itself has created the Special Committee for the Protection of Children, a body charged with monitoring the implementation of Republic Act No. 7610 or The Special Protection For a Child Against Abuse, Exploitation, and Discrimination Act.”

  The law defines a “child” as anyone below 18 years old “or one who is over 18 years of age but who cannot take care of himself fully because of a physical or mental disability or condition”

  Meanwhile, it defines child abuse as “any act which inflicts physical or psychological injury, cruelty to or the neglect, sexual abuse of, or which exploits, a child.”

  Sexual abuse, in particular, is defined as is the employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement or coercion of child to engage in, or assist another person to engage in sexual intercourse or lasciviousness conduct or the molestation or prostitution of, or the commission of incestuous acts, on, a child.”

  Abuse is not only limited to physical infliction, the law says, because any action that harms a child’s psychological or intellectual functions can also be considered abuse.

  Under the law, any person who shall commit any other acts of child abuse, cruelty or exploitation or to be responsible for other conditions prejudicial to the child’s development including those covered by Article 59 of Presidential Decree No. 603, as amended, but not covered by the Revised Penal Code, as amended, shall suffer the penalty of prision mayor (6 years and 1 day to 12 years) in its minimum period.

  Interestingly, the DOJ has identified people who are “required” to report a child abuse case, including the head of a public or private hospital, medical clinic or similar institution, as well as the physician and nurse who attended to the needs of the abused child; Teachers and administrators of public schools; Parole and probation officers; Government lawyers; Law enforcement officers; Barangay officials; Correction officers such as jail guards; and other government officials and employees whose work involves dealing with children.

  The DOJ says that the individuals identified can be charged criminally if it is learned that they knew of a child abuse case and did not report the same to the proper authorities.

  Who can file a complaint against the suspect? The DOJ says that the child victim, the parent or legal guardian of the victim, the grandparent, a relative of the child victim up to a first cousin, the barangay captain, and/or one of a group of three or more persons who have personal knowledge of the abuse can do so.

  The complaint against Christina’s father was filed by the Children’s Legal Bureau, a Cebu-based organization that aims to empower communities to provide a just world for children through developmental legal aid, trainings and advocacy.

  The case in now pending in court.

  “They should be educated and re-educated… this is part of the preventive program,” Sr. Nida emphasizes.

  For Christina, the battle has just begun, but to be able to finally tell her story with conviction and strength is, for her, the beginning of a victory. — /With reports from and edited by Joeberth M. Ocao/FREEMAN
  

  *Kuya means older brother, spoken as a sign of respect.

  First saw print in the FREEMAN as Losing Innocence: Victim of sexual abuse speaks, hopes for others to break silence (First of 2 parts) on October 15, 2012, and subsequently published in Philstar.com as Victim of sexual abuse speaks, hopes for others to break silence (First of 2 parts). Photos by A.N. Banaynal/THE FREEMAN.

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